I read an article today, The meaning of true love by Sadhguru of Isha Foundation. According to the article, love in relationships always comes with conditions and expectations. It is difficult to administer unconditional love. I agree and disagree.
I agree, unconditional love is an impossible dream in this highly materialistic world. Any relationship, however deep, comes with its own ‘expectation and benefits’ package. We are in love with someone and we expect certain behavior and reciprocation from them. I have not seen anyone who says ‘it is ok how the person in concern behaves or reciprocates my feelings, I will still go on loving’. That is in movies and dreams. Adult world has not seen much of unconditional love.
I disagree, though, that unconditional love, does not exist at all. It exists and to experience it, is pure bliss. I am fortunate to be experiencing this bliss of unconditional love daily, in a double dose.
You guessed right, children. Especially babies- their love comes from a heart that is untouched by the negative influences of the world. They just love, for no reason. That look of adoration they reserve for their parents (especially mothers!), will melt any stone- heart. That toothless smile of delight when they see someone they are attached to, that’s dipped in purest of love. Whenever my kids, as babies, gave that adoring look or smile, tears of joy have brimmed over accompanied with the thought what I have done to deserve this love. Again an adult mind at work, looking for hidden reasons. But the pureheart loves away, oblivious of this turmoil in the mother’s mind.
Over the years, my kids have seen the tougher side of their mother. I have been strict, given them time-out, disciplined them, scolded them, been adamant when it came to certain issues. But after all that, they come running to me with open arms, hold me tight and give that warm hug. And again, I am compelled to think, what have I done to deserve this. Until they see benefits and begin their expectations, it is a bond untainted.
I ask my kids why do you love me so much and varied replies pop out. You are always with us, you take care, cook, clean and do so many other things for us, you tell us stories, teach us things, but the best reply ever is, ” I love you, that’s all”. No reason or hidden agenda whatsoever!!
I always doubt myself, if I am capable of giving them back that affection they have for me. In comparison, my love to theirs, it is them who win hands down!! I accept, I can never compete with that kind of adoration, as I do have expectations from them – manners, discipline, respect – a mother’s list never ends.
Sometimes, too busy polishing their characters and traits, I stop myself. I just wrap my little ones in a bear hug and a big kiss on the cheek, that leaves them totally surprised but at the same time makes them feel so loved. Its their turn then, to enjoy that moment of bliss, a small return, now and then, to their gift of purest love.