With two kids, most of my time goes acting a referee between the two. Be it a fight, a debate, sharing things, eventually the referee steps in. Sometimes, if they are having a safe tiff (with no punching and name calling), I silently vanish from the scene and let them handle it on their own.
It is always difficult acting judge and give a verdict who is wrong. I so wish sometimes they don’t fight at all. Then realise, siblings are the best people who give you a practice of how to handle situations and people when you step out into the world.
Not everyone is nice to you, not everyone will see only the good in you and get along. People take advantage of weaknesses and cash on that. When I look at my son and daughter, that is what is happening. Where sweetness is required to getting things done, my son takes the lead. Weaves magic with those innocent eyes and sweet smile. If a head-on approach and attack mode is the need of the hour my daughter takes the forefront and get things done. What they don’t get is that I understand all that and let them have their way when it suits me. That is because I want to let them develop their abilities and then, learn some more. Its a competitive world out there and they should know how to handle people and know different approaches. They will surely learn from each other the knacks they are weak at. They compete with each other, who is first. They accept the victory of the other, which I am glad of.
They are learning a lot from these sibling interactions. They are learning to co-exist along with their differences. They point out each other’s mistakes and try to mend them (which usually ends with a tiff). They are learning how to get things done by each other, given their different personalities. They are learning to negotiate – “If you want me to help, share your magic pen with me!”. To compromise – share that precious toy, to get that most wanted aid. Most of the time it is best not to interfere, they should learn to handle these situations. Only, no bad words or physical fights. Arguments are allowed, very much.
They don’t fight always, there are great moments of laughter and peace. They play together, paint together. Study time is the same. They always have their food together. Their most productive conversations, funny exchanges, and sharing of events of the day happens at the dining table, with me lending an ear at the background (that’s total entertainment).
I feel happy when they seek each other’s comfort when parents are villains. They are learning to stand by each other, giving silent consolation. Once, scared of my ire my daughter refused to come downstairs and her brother held her hand and guided her down the stairs, giving her courage. It was worth losing my cool, I felt, when I saw them bonded.
My headstrong daughter is learning she has to obey and respect her elder brother and acknowledge he knows more than her and has a lot to gain from that. My son is learning he has to love and respect his dominating little sister and guide her when necessary. Most of all, they are learning they are each other’s friends for life. The one cushion they can fall back on when life throws those punches at you. So, keep the fights, debates, disagreements coming, my babies, and roll in, that laughter and games – the foundation of a bond that’s one of the strongest.